


Never Enough

by Zeds_Dead



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angry Sex, Dark, Depressing, Dildos, Drug Use, Eruri centric, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Friendship, Heavy Angst, Loneliness, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Murder, Obsessive Behavior, One-Sided Relationship, Prostitution, Revenge Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Shame, Short Story, Sorry Levi, Spiralling Reality, Strained Relationships, Triggers, Unrequited Love, Violence, happy ending kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-08 08:24:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6846889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeds_Dead/pseuds/Zeds_Dead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Levi wanted was to be loved the way he loved his partner, wholly and truly and without question. It used to be that way, two people together in a passionate relationship but it was all slipping away, crumbling down into nothing. </p><p>It could be fixed though. Everything would be back to normal soon. It had to be. He'd make sure of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Broken Man

**Author's Note:**

> This was an idea I had last night, quite depressing but hopefully enjoyable all the same. I'll update tags as I go, not sure how long this will be yet. 
> 
> Writing from Levi's pov in parts which is realtively new for me so hope it comes across as intended.
> 
> Happy reading!

The relationship had been fraught for a while, but it was hard to say exactly when everything changed. Never did they spend much time in each other's presence anymore. No evenings in front of the television whilst curled up on the sofa, no nights wasted away with fleeting kisses and inane chat, no intimacy. All it consisted of now was lame excuses, same old story over and over again - work, work, work. Important meetings, entertaining clients, extra hours put in to finalise deals. Levi stared blankly at the table, heel of his palm propping up a weary head as fingers trailed lazily through onyx hair, gaze unfocused on the offerings he'd concocted in the kitchen earlier; a set of hors d'oeuvres, exquisite main meal, decadent desserts, all complimented perfectly by an array of wines which would have heightened every mouthful.

All that remained now was a selection of spoiled food, cold and congealed and way beyond the prospect of being edible as yet again a spread went uneaten, yet again no apology or reason, not even a text this time. Assurances had been made earlier, 'of course I'll be home on time babe, of course I won't let my job get in the way, of course I'll be there for you, for us!' but still nothing. It used to be begging calls, pleading for forgiveness then dismissive half-assed messages, now nothing. Sighing heavily, Levi continued his glare at the meal, the third this month which would be ending up in the trash and he carried on his combing motions amongst black locks.

_What would happen if I pulled some out? He'd notice me then. Strand by fucking strand. Then I'd get some attention._

Yanking one hair, the man winced as remarkably sharp pain shot across his scalp, all because of a single extraction. He held up his trophy, relatively long thread as dark as he felt, midnight eclipsing his aching heart.

_Maybe not. I don't want to be fucking bald after all. I'll have to do something else, show that bastard what he's doing to me, how much he's hurting the one he should be loving._

Still no texts, only a blank bar at the top of a phone which displayed full connectivity and half a battery, nothing more apart from the late hour in digital figures. Running a thumb over glass, sorrowful grey eyes looked down at the picture chosen as a home-screen, one taken of the two of them on a beautiful day out in the sun. They'd visited the botanical gardens together, sedate strolls through shrubbery hand in hand, romantic picnic on the grass, an ice cream shared as an afternoon snack. Levi gave a small laugh at the memory of dabbing some of the vanilla treat on his lover's nose and shook his head. Back then they'd been happy. How did it all come to this?

Calling time, the morose male stood and started to clear the dishes away, burnt-down candle blown out into nothing just like their relationship had been, a once fiery flicker now only smoke in the wind. A heavy handed approach was taken, plates treated without care and food violently deposited in the recycling caddy, filling the small pod to the hilt.

_All that effort and for what, hmm? Nothing. Again. Fucking prick._

He wouldn't be letting the wines go to waste, hell no, and as he sunk back down into the dining room chair, Levi checked his phone again. Of course nothing awaited him and he unlocked the device, hovering over an icon as alcohol was chugged back, uncouth gulps in place of the usual demure sips. But why not? No one was here to complain. The white rectangle taunted silver orbs, glowing out and daring him to press it, teasing with the faded lines which graphically suggested lines of words and he wondered if any missive would even be read, let alone replied to. Taking a deep breath, the broken man pressed a few virtual keys and sent a simple plea.

"I'm sorry."

He hated himself for it, words floating unseen to a no doubt unresponsive recipient as the whole conversation thread popped up, hundreds of similar boxes showing him weeks of desperate communications, all one-sided. Please come home. I miss you. What did I do wrong? I'm sorry…sorry…sorry…

_I've done nothing though. Behaved perfectly and with passion, why am I apologising?_

Soul as bleak and empty as the notification panel, he threw down more wine, giving no shits as the minutes ticked by without the courtesy of a reply, mind fraught and at the point of snapping. Pacing the apartment, Levi grumbled to no one and gestured into thin air, chatting incessantly and summarising the partnership with poisonous words. Suddenly, a buzz on the table stopped his route and he flew to the wooden surface, heart in his mouth as he opened up a message.

"Got a lucrative deal if you're still interested. Has to be now though."

Fuck. Not who he was expecting. The cold feeling of adrenaline subsided as it became obvious that Erwin wouldn't be texting back and the fog of intoxication allowed a fractured decision making process to commence. What did he have to lose? Bills needed to be paid after all and perhaps this was just what he needed to fix his shattered psyche. It wasn't like anyone would be looking for him anyway, so he answered the old business colleague swiftly.

"Ok. Where?"

Instructions were sent, payment on receipt it seemed and Levi swept into the bathroom, quick shower taken and appropriate habitual cleansing motions made. The cabinet revealed a selection of pills, powerful medications provided for recovery, none of which were needed anymore - his leg had healed long ago, motorcycle accident a distant memory but now it was his emotions that required assistance, heart close to being unrepairable. Swallowing two of the strongest tablets, he grabbed some new clothes and a few personal effects, reflection checked.

_I look like shit. I feel like shit. Hell, I am shit, nothing more. Just a worthless fucking dick who can't even keep his boyfriend content. What a cunt._

Striding out into the night air, a glow surrounded everything thanks to the prescription drugs. Passing cars shone brightly in vivid colours, people bounced and danced past like spirals as evenings were enjoyed, loud laughter sending streaks of violet across his line of vision.

_I wonder what Erwin's chuckles look like? What hue would they take on? Probably blue, deep deep blue just like his gorgeous eyes. No, stop that. Don't torture yourself. Concentrate._

Reaching the destination, Levi announced his arrival via intercom and was allowed in, plush carpet making squishing noises beneath his polished black shoes and throwing coils of red upwards.

_One pill might've been enough. Shit. Oh well, never mind. It's done now._

Stare fuzzy and clouded, a pale hand lifted to knock at the relevant hotel door and he was granted immediate entry, occupant dressed in a regal looking bath robe with the establishment's insignia embroidered at the chest, client only slightly older than himself and emitting a kind of yellow tone, one tinged with green.

"Levi? Please, in you come."

"Thanks." Stepping through, silver shards scanned their surroundings to see a room which had been selected for this alone, no real luggage, simply a pile of clothing and small backpack which contained who knew what. No precise details had been provided about the job but that was his unique selling point - anything goes. A glass of scotch was taken gladly, gulped back and dizziness kicked in.

_Good. Hopefully I won't remember any of this tomorrow. What's Erwin doing now? Is he happy? He'd better have eaten something. Silly bastard always skips meals, it's not healthy._

Any anger had dissipated and turned to loving thoughts which filled Levi's brain, drugged incoherence causing a small smile to thin lips despite the guy kissing at his neck and groping through trousers.

Obeying every instruction eagerly, the short male maintained the internal babbles about his lover, chiding him from afar on the subject of keeping his drawers organised as a thick cock was shoved into his mouth, harsh pushes in and out for what felt like hours and a painful grip on his hair to keep up the pace.

_You really need to have the socks on one side, boxers the other. How would you ever find anything during a black out? No, no. Sweet Erwin, you can't rely on a torch being available. Can you imagine having to go bare foot in your sneakers? No, exactly. What's that? You'd borrow mine? Fuck off, your huge toes would ruin them!…Yes you do, they're massive…no don't…hey stop, you know I'm ticklish there….no, stop Erwin! I can't take it!_

Shit I can't take it, he thought as elbows and knees dug into the sheets, paying customer driving into his violated ass from behind, ripping him in two. Drops of dribble landed on his back, snarls of pleasure and control mixing with his own whimpers and Levi collapsed down, face pressed sideways into the pillow and breath shoved from struggling lungs with each thrust. The bright blue dildo hadn't stretched him anywhere near enough for the real show and dull steel eyes glared at the offending item which lay forgotten on the mattress, one which he'd been ordered to use on himself for a while before plunging it into his current master's hole.

How long had it been? Twenty minutes maybe? More? He had no concept of time, searing agony made bearable by pre-medicating and as he fisted at the covers, that monstrous azure shaft morphed into something else, pools of cobalt that twinkled.

_Oh Erwin…yes…please keep going, don't stop, don't stop…I love you…I love you…do you? Do you really love me too?…Yes, I can feel it…your hand…so warm…_

Pulling at his erection, Levi wholly believed it was the blonde making him feel alight with lust, filling him completely and he started to mutter out loud.

"Er…Erw…Erw…"

"Shut up, slut." The person actually fucking him relentlessly had been forgotten, no longer noticable and simply a surrogate in his twisted mind. He began to laugh lightly, hitched giggles joined by tears as his body was forced forwards into the head board, small frame bunched up and abused. Regardless, he felt the building heat and gave a few strangled gasps as he came, hot explosion dirtying his hand. Erwin loved him again. He truly loved him.

It was all over, naked form left tangled and shattered on the bed as an envelope was thrown down, thick wedge of notes within. Eyes blurred from narcotics and salt water, Levi somehow managed to check the amount, cum trickling down his side from where his client had finished on white skin, marking the play-thing.

"It's all there. Now fuck off." The shower sprung into life, hotel patron washing sweat from his flesh whilst singing loudly and the used male sat up, clothing retrieved and placed back on carefully. He ached, he hurt, outside and in. He was destroyed.

Stumbling home he swayed through streets and tripped over nothing, unable to walk properly due to the burning agony and feeling decidedly wretched.

_It's all I deserve though. A shitty little whore like me can't have nice things. That's why he hates me. Can't bear to look at my filthy body. But he knew what I did for extra cash? Still got involved. So what the fuck?_

Crashing into bed, Levi clung onto consciousness just a little while longer, begging voice quiet through the apartment, words tinged with regret.

"Why Erwin? Why is everything I do not enough for you? Why am I never enough?"


	2. Attention

Two days. Over forty eight hours and no word. Levi was getting worried, hatred having left his aching body to be replaced by concern as he picked up his phone, no blinking alerts or messages waiting. Opening the one-person conversation, he scanned over the latest additions, avalanche of texts sent since he'd woken on Saturday morning to a small amount of blood in his underwear. It was to be expected, the guy from Friday night had been massive and ruthless but it didn't stop him answering another work request yesterday, client bordering on insane but paying well.

Nothing had made his partner reply, not even the plea for assistance and declaration of being in pain had elicited anything and he sighed, shoving the device in a pocket and straightening himself out. Six AM. Time to leave for his more acceptable job.

_What if he's injured? Lying somewhere waiting for me to save him? Or maybe Erwin just doesn't care._

Scuffing down the street, Levi breathed in the cold air and pulled his jacket closed, hunched against the breeze which bit and pulled at his cheeks and turned them red. Red like the gag shoved in his mouth last night, the ball which prevented speech and cries of agony. Frowning, the man shook the memory off and entered the building via a trade door, small office his home for the next nine hours.

_Fucking freezing in here. Did that prick forget to turn the heating on again?_

The subject of the internal grumble appeared, friendly smile fading instantly as a dark jacket was shrugged away, bruising revealed on a pale neck from above the white uniform shirt and black tie.

"Fucking hell Levi, what happened?" Pulling at his collar, the shorter male tried to hide the result of yesterday's violent liaison, glad that all of his other injuries were pretty much covered. Well, all but one major welt. "Your eye…shit, have you seen a doctor? It looks awful."

"Shut up Mike. I'm fine. Just a disagreement." His colleague came closer, nose twitching as he sniffed deeply.

"Disagreement my ass. I hope you got adequately compensated." Holding back from spelling it out, Mike scowled as the scent of degradation and remorse hit his nostrils hard.

"Fuck off."

_Adequate enough, yea. Don't you worry. I got paid plenty for that shit. Where's the tea? Did he forget that too? Fuck me. Just check quickly…bollocks. No texts. Where is that big bastard?_

They'd had fallings out in the past but Erwin always came home, never blanked his lover for this long. What usually and more increasingly happened was a shameful return at some ridiculous time, door closed silently to avoid waking the one sleeping but he messed up without fail, walking into a chair or knocking over an ornament.

_Silly idiot. So clumsy. Must be because of his fucked up centre of gravity. Being short has it's advantages, I suppose. Shit my head hurts. That guy must've hit me harder than I thought. Not that Erwin gives a toss. Did he eat breakfast today? Got to keep that massive body fuelled. I need a drink._

Mike set up their stations, multitude of screens adjusted for height allowances as their security shift commenced, monitors watched for trouble. There never was any, the odd lost courier turning up and redirected accordingly but nothing exciting. Glancing over, he watched his friend mumbling at the kettle, fingers twitching as a soliloquy continued unheard - the dark haired man was losing it again.

"Levi?"

"Mmm?"

"I thought you gave all that up a while ago?"

"All what?"

"This. Night time activities." The one addressed spun, gripping the surface of their small kitchen area and silver eyes glared out, right orb shrouded in purple.

"Just say it Mike. I'm a fucking whore. I know that. So stop trying to be such an understanding pillar of the community and speak like a normal person." They'd worked together for six years now, knew one another inside out and the taller of the two took no offence and didn't even flinch at the outburst.

"I don't like seeing you hurt. I get that some of them have their kinky fantasies but Levi, please. Be careful."

"I am careful. Takes a lot more to knock me down."

_Takes Erwin ignoring me to do that. And he's doing it well. Maybe I'll make him a sandwich. One of those nice ham and cheese melts he likes. That'll cheer him up. How dare he not even text back? I was hurt and he didn't reply. Piece of shit._

Skipping between anger and love, Levi's mind spun and added to the pounding ache already there, impact and hangover creating a mood as desolate as his soul, reality snapping strand by strand like a rope unravelling under pressure. Tenuous links weakened, the security guard sighed and finished off the drinks, bringing mugs over and flopping into his leather chair, one which had been attacked by the ravages of time but it suited him perfectly, melded to his figure to provide a comfortable spot. Wriggling to get into the ideal position, he crossed his legs and fixed the other with a serious stare.

"You gonna lecture me all day or can we have a nice quiet shift?"

"As long as you know what you're getting into, I'll keep my mouth shut Levi."

"Well there's a first. Oh for fuck sakes, what is he doing? He's going to break that damn barrier." The small male stormed off to reprimand a truck driver who was trying to squeeze through a space half the required size and Mike shook his head. He needed to keep a watch on his angry companion.

~~~~~~

Another day almost over and another blind rage was in flow as Levi stalked the apartment, half empty bottle in hand as he swigged down cheap scotch.

_Motherfucker. I'll make him answer me. He has to this time. There's no way even that bitch can stay stone cold after what I've done. Not now. He'll realise how much I need him, how much he needs me and he'll be back. He has to be. Fuck, that stings. Right, where's my damn phone now? What…oh, here it is. Erwin Erwin Erwin._

Pushing the green image, he took a deep breath and smirked - this was water-tight, bound to work and he took a drink, vaguely aware of the blood tricking down his forearm. Three rings and finally an answer.

"Hello?"

_Ahhhh that voice, that deep sultry voice, god how I've missed you…that purr could make me do anything it wanted, fuck…sound meek you idiot, not turned on._

"Erwin? It's Levi." Silence. Nothing. And then…

"Levi? I thought I told you not to call me when I'm working?"

"Working? Its 8 at night! And where the fuck have you been all weekend? I went absolutely crazy with worry! Have you any idea what you made me do?"

"I did say I'd be gone until Wednesday in an area with terrible signal range?"

_Did he? Did I make dinner on the wrong day? I can't have. He promised me….he promised…_

"No…no you were coming home early on Friday. I cooked for you Erwin. I cooked real good."

_Don't sound like a fucking sap. You're pissed off, remember? Stop grovelling. But what if I got it mixed up? He's done nothing bad at all and I've just…shit…_

"That was last week Levi. Remember? We ate together."

_Oh yea…that's right. Last week. Fuck it all._

"Erwin I…I'm sorry I must be sick, I…"

"What's wrong? You said I made you do something?"

"Oh nothing. Stupid really. So you're back on Wednesday?"

"Yes. I'll see you then, ok? I'm with clients."

"Sure, sure. Sorry to bother you. Love you Erwin. Erwin? Hello?"

_Bastard hung up without saying bye! Rude cunt. And there was me confessing love and shit. With clients, yea right. Cheating on me no doubt. How could he act like nothing's been terrible recently? Just all 'see you then' blah blah fucking blah. Fuck. I'm sending it now. He deserves it._

Opening the gallery on his phone, Levi selected the appropriate attachment, picture taken prior to their chat and emailed it to his lover, wherever he was.

_There. That'll show him what he did to me. What he made me do. Better sort that out actually, he'll go mad when he sees the mess. What did he have for dinner today? Best not be drinking on an empty stomach like that time in Vegas. God that was horrific. Where's the goddamn first aid kit now?_

Rustling through cupboards, the irate man brought out what he needed and tended to his self inflicted wound, one made on the inside arm earlier in a fit of anguish. He'd snatched a plate up and broken it into shards, china pieces a replica of his own heart, one of which had been shoved carelessly against flesh before taking a grizzly snapshot. All because of Erwin.

_Now you'll notice me. Now you'll come running back and never leave me again. I know it._

But he didn't. There was no reply, no frantic call, nothing and it tore Levi into tatters. Popping some pills, unsure exactly which ones, he jittered around his home, willing Wednesday to come early so he could face his lover finally.

~~~~~~

So deep. So tight. So fucking amazing. Thrusting in and out of the man beneath, Levi felt on cloud nine, smile on his mouth as he gazed down, pair of large thighs pushed back to allow better access and full penetration. It had been so long, too long and he leant in, eyes eating up the blonde hair and cobalt orbs that were all his.

_Oh fuck yea…yea Erwin…take it all…you love me don't you? I knew you did._

Picking up speed, he treated his man to the fuck of his life, passionate and caring, no harsh words or violent pushes, just pure adoration. They fit together perfectly, meant to be as one forever, surely. He saw the way his partner stared up with awe, the slack jaw and he heard gasps and groans of pleasure, stiff cock twitching and slapping against their abdomens.

"Levi...oh shit…you're unbelievable…it's so good, I can't stop it…ngnnnhh ahhhh yes…"

"Don't hold back, babe. Mmm fuck…I'll make you come like never before…" The blushing face shone up like a beacon of lust, beads of sweat covering their bodies as Levi upped the pace, deeper pounds applied as he felt himself losing control, breath hard and urgent and he drove in expertly, providing the ultimate high for his guy, his man, his significant other…all of this for him.

_Yes that's it…come for me…come for Levi…show me how good I make you feel…_

"Ahhhh Levi! God yes!" As his orgasm hit, the receiver shook with glee and he painted them both in white, the thick fluids proving how insanely delicious this all was. In a second the one on top broke and filled the eager hole with his own climax - it seemed never-ending, just kept on flowing out like he hadn't come in weeks and he moaned loudly, satisfaction on delicate features.

Relaxing down, Levi held the man close, whispering in his ear, air dragged between words and small kisses given to a lobe.

"Erwin…I love you…shit that was good…oh god Erwin…"

"Umm…it's Eren but…close enough?" The brunette giggled and hoped he hadn't offended his hired help, unsure what the protocol was in these situations. He felt the male stiffen slightly, shaft still buried inside of him and he wondered what was wrong as silver slits appeared, glaring down.

_Eren? What the fuck? Who is this? What's going on? Ohhhh…shit a brick._

The green eyes which gleamed out were half-lidded, pupils blown and his brown hair dishevelled in a rather adorable fashion. And then it all came flooding back in a clear recollection...

It was Wednesday and after yet another unattended meal, Levi had lost any hold on sanity and tipped the dinner table over, crockery obliterated and food splashed across the pristine wooden floors. After that, he'd made a decision and dialled his questionable colleague.

"Yo Levi, what's up?"

"Farlan. You got any jobs?"

"Yea bro, but not really anything you'd like."

"Trust me, right now I'd fuck a woman."

"Shit. Like that is it? Fine. I'll send you details."

Medication and scotch levels at their prime, he'd followed the instructions which led him here to find a loner of twenty two who had decided to throw caution to the wind, time to pop his cherry, so to speak. He'd requested care and attentiveness, to be treated like a prince...

_That must be why he's not freaking out about me saying I loved him. Could've been worse. He's attractive at least. Bit wet behind the ears but not bad for a virgin. What am I thinking? Fuck it._

Cuddling back in, the pale man enjoyed closeness with another person for the first time in ages, arms wrapped around him that held tightly in appreciation as they regained their coherence.

_Mmmm nice. All I wanted was to be loved and needed, after all. Maybe I could be enough for this brat? He seems to like me. The way he's got his legs curled round mine…ownership. He doesn't want me to leave. Why didn't Erwin turn up like he said? Always breaking his word. Did he drive on his trip? What if he crashed? Lying injured in a car? Fuck, I gotta check my phone. How could I just stay here and hug this kid? I'm the worst kind of human being in the world. Worthless and used up, nothing but a common slut begging for attention._

Levi rose, slipping out of his client slowly, condom discarded and he started to get his stuff together, predictably empty notifications causing his anger and worry to flare up in equal amounts. Huffing, he realised he'd even fucking hallucinated unprotected sex, making a note to keep his shit together otherwise it could all end in disaster.

"What happened to your arm?" Glancing at the bandage, the dark haired male snorted once and shook his head at the query.

"Had an argument with a dinner plate. Nothing major."

"Oh. Ok. Erm…thanks Levi. That was incredible."

"Mmm hmm. You're welcome, kiddo."

"The uh…uh money is here." A porcelain hand took the offered roll and he smiled lightly, keeping in character for now, not letting his real personality out.

"Thank you. And you did good too. Well on your way to breaking hearts across the country."

"Stoppit." Red cheeks shone bright and Levi laughed gently, ruffling chocolate hair at the bashful utterance.

"You know where I am. Take care of yourself." Leaving with a wink, the older of the two closed the motel door quietly and took a huge intake of air, one thing on his mind now that the distraction had gone.

_Erwin better have a good excuse or be dead in a ditch somewhere. I'll make him sorry he ever fucked about with my emotions. Make him pay. Make him mine again._

 


	3. Promises

Thursday morning brought pain of an all too familiar kind, crippling depression falling over Levi and blinding him to most things apart from one purpose. The twinge of discomfort in his arm throbbed like a reminder, each pulse of blood rushing there to heal the jagged scar making him think of why he did it, who made him do it and what had happened since. Of course he made money by selling his body, Erwin knew that, but last night had been different.

_I actually enjoyed it. Ok, I was thinking of him the whole time but then afterwards it was nice to be hugged. I must be some sort of fucking idiot. Hugged. Tch. Grow up. Did I unplug the TV this morning? Shit, that's gonna nag at me all day now. Where's Mike with that inventory? God I feel guilty. What have I done?_

"Levi? Levi? Earth to Levi?"

"Huh?"

"You were staring into space again. Everything ok? You didn't get fucked up again, did you?"

"No. You see any new bruises?"

"That doesn't mean shit. Come on, I can smell you a mile away. Why do you need to get totally wasted every day if not to blot something out, hmm?"

"Mike? Enough with the psycho babble. I like a drink, that's all."

"Yea, and the rest."

"Just fuck off and let me get on with this." Glaring down at his laptop, Levi opened illegally downloaded software and typed in a number, ready to proceed on his lunch break which would be taking place shortly.

Not even an hour later and Mike announced he was delivering the ledger to the front desk, time to spring into action.

"Knock yourself out. Oh, and bring me some of those pens from up there. Ours are shit."

"When do you ever write, Levi?"

"I might want to start correspondence, how would you fucking know?" The light haired man laughed at his friend, happy to see him making random grumpy comments again and more like himself. Once he was out of view, the shorter security guard picked up his phone, going against orders for the second time and he dialled swiftly, object by his ear as he stared at the larger screen, waiting and hoping that this expensive electronic program was worth it. As a connection was made, things started to happen, colours speeding in pixels like how he usually saw the world from his drug induced hazes.

"Levi, I told you..."

"Listen to me Erwin. Just listen. I don't know what shit you're pulling but I haven't seen you in a week. A whole fucking week. You got back yesterday, right? And where the fuck were you? Hmm?" Green coils moved in, pinning one cell tower as blue began to join in.

_Good. Now I've got you, fucker. There's gonna be a special delivery today for you. Just wait._

"It was so late last night, I didn't want to disturb you so I slept in the office. Don't get so worked up."

_Worked up?! Fucking right I'm worked up. You still didn't say anything about that picture I sent. What's your problem anyway? I will be soon. I'll be your problem. A massive one. Fuck I should get him lunch. I'll stop at that place on the way, he loves their salads. Always so concerned about his waist line, adorable._

"Sorry Erwin…I just miss you. I need to see you. What can I do? How can I show you that I'm sorry?"

_No! Stop being so damn weak! Shit, it's all his fault, turning me into a spineless creep._

"Later, Levi. Tonight we can talk. I promise."

_Promise promise promise. Pinkie promise. Spit in our hands and shake promise. Stick a needle in your fucking eye._

"Ok babe. I'll see you at home, yea?"

"Count on it."

_Count on this, you prick. Gotcha._

Three blobs gave a triangulation and one singular beacon shone out to provide the location, building downtown and not far away at all. It wasn't the usual office he worked out of but Levi didn't notice - he had a purpose.

Striding into the foyer, silver eyes scanned the front desk and spotted a lone receptionist, make-up caked on thick and false eyelashes standing out like a spider had crawled up onto her lids and died in a pained manner. Disgusting. But easy prey.

_She looks like she just got out of diapers. Probably quite pretty underneath all of that shit. Shame. Why do people feel the need to present themselves like dolls? Orange ones at that. Good angle on her computer, few steps to the right…there._

"Afternoon, Miss. I'm here for Erwin Smith, please."

"Do you have an appointment, Sir?"

"No." He held up the brown paper bag as evidence. "Just bringing him some lunch."

"Oh, umm, I don't…I don't know if I'm allowed…"

"Honey, you can do anything you like. You're in control here, right? Everyone in and out? That's a lot of responsibility and I can see you deserve to be given that trust from those above."

_Lean in, sexy look, small smile…tilt the head and done._

"Oh well, I…I suppose you're right…" She was blushing through fake rouge, cheeks flushed as the pale man flirted brazenly.

"Of course I am, sweetheart. Now be a good girl and check his calendar. I don't want to barge in on a meeting carrying quinoa. That'd be a bit embarrassing."

"Yes I guess it would. Depends how good it is, though."

_Oh no, don't even try to get all sultry with me, bitch. You have nothing, seriously. Smutty salads, for fuck sakes. 'A' for effort, mind you. That's it…ok…floor three, room B1. Too easy._

"Thanks, but don't worry after all. Superfood salad waits for no man."

"Oh…alright...you know where you're going, Sir?"

_I wouldn't be walking away if I didn't, you fucking idiot._

"Sure. Been here hundreds of times. Catch you later." Walking confidently, Levi pushed a button for the elevator and whistled lazily whilst waiting; if you looked like you belonged, no one questioned your presence. Also his work uniform helped, fitting in to the general populous, a few of whom nodded in greeting at someone they presumed they should know. A voice in the back of his head threatened to break the calm, niggling annoyance that he bit down on; it wouldn't do to lose it here.

Some other passengers joined the patient time wasting exercise and when their ride arrived, the security guard held out a hand to invite them in first. Smiles and thanks were given and when he entered the metal box, a friendly query asked which floor.

"Three please, if you'd be so kind." Rocking up on the balls of his feet, Levi bounced and hummed with a tiny smirk, part of the furniture and acting like he'd been working here for years. Doors opened and he stepped out, speaking warmly to his fellow vertical commuters. "Have a good day, gents." It was reciprocated gladly and as the man strolled through corridors, he laughed lightly.

_First time here and I'm already making friends. How to make friends and influence people. People are strange when you're a stranger. Great. Now that song's going to be stuck in my head. Never mind. B1, B1, B1. Ah. Here we are, fucker._

Bursting through, Levi saw the look of shock on blue eyes and grinned devilishly.

_ Christ, you're gorgeous. That hair, like a halo. Fuck. I'm screwed. How could I stay mad at this guy? He's perfect. _

"Hey there."

"L-Levi? What are you doing here? You can't just come in?"

"I brought lu-hunch!" Shaking the bag, he delivered the announcement in a singing voice, high pitched and wholly unnerving. Erwin sat back as if two inches further away were going to make all the difference and regal brows furrowed. The food was placed carefully on his desk and some plastic cutlery produced. "There. Now I know you like to take care of yourself, so eat up!"

"Seriously, I have meetings..."

"Tch. Fuck them. You need your strength." He sat on the other side of the wooden surface, eager look in grey orbs that glowed with admiration.

"I've already eaten."

"Save it for later, then."

_I spent a lot on that salad, you dick. And you know what I had to do to get all the extra money this month. You fucking know._

Erwin watched the person opposite fidgeting, hands flexing in and out of fists as he recognised another moment of haziness, tell-tale signs all pointing towards a break in reality. This didn't bode well.

"Look, Levi. As much as I like to have you surprise me, I really am busy so…"

_Busy busy busy. Busy as a bee. Fucking hornets. Should've put some of them in your damn salad. Wolf it all down and get stung, just like you stung me. My arm. That stings. Bitch._

"Why didn't you reply to my email?"

"What?"

"I sent you an email, Erwin. Look." Lifting his sleeve, Levi produced the bandaged limb and unravelled the white protection, revealing an angry red scar which was swollen and fresh. Damn. Erwin had hoped it was a stock photo from google but no, here was the evidence in it's stark, morbid glory. "This is what happens if you're not around. You can't keep leaving me on my own, I'm self destructive. So you have to come home tonight Erwin. Who knows what might happen if you don't."

_Emotional blackmail. Bribery. Whatever the fuck it's called, this is gonna work. He'll be in my arms this evening for sure. The guilt will be too much to take if he isn't. I'll make him beg._

The blonde surveyed the injury, took in the fading bruises uncovered along with the yellowing one around a steely eye and sighed. He knew what was going on and this was just one reason why he couldn't carry on like this, couldn't keep seeing this man in any capacity. It was unhealthy and seemingly destined to be repeated unless he did something about it. The words got stuck in his throat though, true feelings disallowed as yet again the tall male succumbed to being just too damn nice. Or cowardly - both were suitable ways to describe his next sentence.

"I'll be home, ok? Please don't hurt yourself Levi. You don't need to do that. I'll look after you."

_Yea…take care of me Erwin. Cuddle me, bathe me, brush my hair, lick my wounds. Make me whole again. Wholegrain. Shit we need bread._

"We need bread."

"Umm…ok…I'll pick some up. And Levi?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for lunch." It signalled the end of their impromptu date and Erwin stood, steeling himself for the obvious. Levi rushed round, smaller arms taking hold of a thick waist and clinging tight, face in a green shirt. He breathed in deeply, that scent he needed, craved, loved.

_Oh fuck you smell so good. So manly. So clean but with a hint of sweat. If I could bottle this…that'd be amazing. I'd just sit and sniff it all day. Sniff like Mike. Damn, I'm late. He's going to go crazy._

A large hand rested on a petite shoulder, small show of affection doing more than expected. It had been so long since Erwin had touched him that Levi almost lost control, nearly dropped to his knees in genuflection but he held it together, whine of satisfaction escaping his lips. His lover would be home tonight, he was ok, not hurt or dead and he'd be so so attentive.

~~~~~~

Kneeling like he wanted to earlier, the distraught and unhinged man was blinking back tears and struggling to breathe, trousers getting saturated in the puddle beneath him. Erwin had lied. Didn't return like he said he would, merely sent a text to say 'don't wait up, trouble at the office.' The office. The one Levi didn't recognise.

_The bastard changed where he works and didn't tell me! Jesus, watch it…you trying to kill me? Shit. How did I end up here?_

His jaw ached, the hold in his raven hair agonising and the shaft that was shoved in his mouth suffocating. The balls that slapped at his chin stank, absolutely reeked and he vaguely remembered his evening so far.

_Everything's shiny so I'm pretty fucked. I must've just been walking around and found this guy who's attempting to choke me with his cock. Damn. It'll be over soon…all over…_

Water stung at his eyes, obscuring vision as drops fell on his pale face, cheeks moistened in a combination of shame and distress. Grunting noises signalled an end and Levi squeezed his lids shut, coughing and spluttering as he swallowed quickly, wanting this to cease as soon as possible. Finally released, he gasped for air and hunched down, hands in the grimy pool beneath as gags came automatically. Notes fluttered to earth, paper landing in the filthy muck and soaking up liquid. The customer left, striding away along the alleyway as money was snatched up, dirty currency soiled even more by mud. Shoving it in his pockets, the still panting male shook his head and sobbed quietly, image projected back from the water below.

_What am I? What have I done? Who is this person staring at me? All because of you, Erwin. All because I'm not enough. Never will be. What's this? Oh…must be Mike's. Mine now._

Pulling out the stolen pack of cigarettes, the wretched man lit up, still on his knees and took a deep drag, spitting out the last remnants of his latest and off-the-books client.

_Now I'm sucking guys off in seedy back alleys. Brilliant. How much lower can I fucking go? What do I have to do to show Erwin I need him? I'd never have done this if he came home. I need a drink to take this taste away. The taste of his cum…_

Without warning, Levi retched and vomited on the paving, pure liquid due to having eaten nothing yet again, spoiled dinner back in the apartment.

_And now the taste of sick. Fan fucking tastic._

Nearing the end of the smoke, he took one last lungful and glanced down, idea formed and not able to be forgotten.

_I said I'd show him and I'm going to do just that. Fuck him. Let me prove how far I'm willing to go._

He could've thrown the butt in the puddle, tossed it to the side but instead chose to press the hot red tip into the back of his hand, hissing through clenched teeth as flesh was marred instantly. It hurt a bit, not too much, dulled nerve endings only allowing a slight amount of pain through and he laughed with crazy tones, chuckles of the insane bouncing off brick walls.

"Erwin you fucker, you're going to regret ever doing this to me. You won't get away with it again. I promise."

_Promise promise promise. What a useless word. But I mean it. I don't break my word. What's in a word. Wordsearch. I should get a paper tomorrow. Light reading. Maybe with a cup of tea. Tea. No, I need more than that. I need whiskey. Now._


	4. Love

Nursing a small short of bourbon, Levi grumbled into the dark liquid as he sat on a stool at the bar, quiet corner providing anonymity in the dingy setting. It suited him perfectly, description reading like his own appearance - dull, in need of a good clean and the epitome of the word 'filth'. Hand thumping in agony, it sent a message to a foggy brain, one soaked in alcohol and painkillers, one ready to snap and give up.

_You're fucking depraved. Totally disgusting. Weak. Abandoned and alone. No wonder I'm sitting here covered in muddy water and tasting that bastard in my mouth still. Did Erwin pick up the bread I asked him to? Better have done. We're all out. Lemmie remind him._

The screen of his phone blurred in and out of focus with incoherent buttons, held up at a strained face as he tried to find the appropriate combination. It was useless though, futile exercise and he sighed, device slammed to the wooden counter as he wobbled on his seat.

"Hey, you ok?"

_Shit! Who's that? Oh…Aaron was it? Ethan? Eren. That's right. Fuck he's golden. Glowing like a fucking angel. Has he been sent to rescue me from myself? Absolve my sins?_

Green eyes glanced up nervously as two pale hands hovered over his head, not touching but seeming to stroke out at an invisible hat or something, awe shining in silver orbs.

"Are you…are you going to save me?"

"Umm no I don't think so. What's wrong, Levi? You look terrible?"

_This must be the way I go. In a shower of shit and stinking of cum. Oh well, I'm ready. Take me now. Hang on, you don't think so? Huh?_

"What do you mean? Are you or aren't you?" Arms down, Levi scowled as he swayed side to side, hanging onto the bar for support.

"No, I'm not. But I can try to help?" Not having a single clue what he was doing, Eren placed a hand on the other man's thigh and squeezed, giving his best look of sorrow and pity. Wondering what a person like this would need to cheer them up, he tried to appear headstrong and flirtatious, convinced it was the right choice. "Or maybe we could help each other out, if you know what I mean?" Grey pools locked onto his teal ones, anger surfacing as the brunette realised his mistake, hastily trying to resolve it. "I'll pay you, obviously?"

_Pay me. Pay me. Of course. That's what you do to drugged up shitty whores like me. No. Wait. Not again. Stop being so damn melodramatic and get a grip, Levi. Go home, sleep it off and wake up brand new. That's attractive, not this. Now, stand up for your stupid self._

Throwing the kid's hand away, Levi snarled.

"Fuck off. I'm still a person under here, you know."

"S-sorry I…I didn't know what to say…"

"If you saw an actor just having a peaceful drink, you wouldn't point a camera in his face and expect him to act out a role, would you? No. Same with me. Don't wave cash at me and presume I'm going to drop to my knees and give you head."

"No no, that's not what I meant! Fuck. Sorry Levi. I was trying to cheer you up."

"Well don't. I'm not worth the hassle." He threw back the contents of his glass, grimacing at the burn in his throat. "And besides, you suck at it." Sliding precariously from the stool, the shorter male took uncertain steps and turned, finger pointing in warning. "Don't stay in here. There's some right fuckers around."

Imparting fatherly advice to the young man, Levi exited into the cool night atmosphere, head cleared slightly as he resolved to stick to his earlier plan - get a grip.

~~~~~~

_Oh fuck. Is there anywhere that doesn't hurt? What the hell? Did I get hit by a car? A train? Eight bears? Jesus this is bad._

Rolling out of bed, he yelled in anguish as shots of torture raced through his body, every part of his being throbbing and screaming to stop, lie down, curl up and die. Sitting slowly, another hot poker of pain exploded and he sprung back up - what the fuck did I do now? Red bloodshot eyes looked around the room, expecting to see the scene of a break-in or something but it all appeared ok, nothing out of place. Levi carefully moved to the main living area, plates of food still set out from yesterday evening and he smiled.

_Oh yea. Erwin came home. We ate dinner. Had a chat. I forgave him for blanking me for a fucking week and we had the best sex in the whole world. Motherfucking pornos could've learnt a thing or two._

Gliding past questionable pasta, he didn't notice how it was untouched or that he was most certainly alone in here, no lover in sight.

_Ah and he got the bread! Such a darling._

Picking up yesterday's paper, the raven haired man ignored the fact that it wasn't bread and placed it in the wooden bucket that housed loaves usually, old news now taking up residence.

_I must remember to thank him specially for that. In my own way._

Chuckling, his broken form managed to make it to the shower, water turned on as he sung a quiet tune, wholly at peace despite his injuries and the reality of what was blatantly an abusive customer. If he'd have checked his phone, he would've seen the text conversation between him and Farlan last night, Levi practically begging his pimp for a violent encounter. But he didn't check. No need. For him, Erwin had returned and already left for work, leaving him behind to play contented housewife.

His reflection didn't even cause concern, straight red lines across a white chest put down to sleeping on the sheets in a funny position, regardless of the truth that they were whip marks. His fractured mind had stashed all of those memories and crushed them down, erased from a virtual database and as black bagged eyes stared at him, he saw nothing but well rested skin.

_No wonder he came back. Look at what he's been missing out on. That burn did the trick, I knew it would. Too easy. Now he'll never go again. Shit, that must have been some fuck. I can't sit in that damn chair all day, I'll call in sick. Take lunch for Erwin again. That'll be nice. The extra money he left can pay for a whole picnic. Batteries. I quite fancy a ciabatta._

One random word slipped in unnoticed, sign of troubled waters ahead if he'd paid attention, but so sweet was the bliss he rode on, it went past silently. Recently the man's thoughts had been wavering in and out of sync, one subject turned to another with breakneck speed and the strange connections he made during such a spell were increasing, leading to odd utterances and the occasional shout like he had tourettes at times.

Tainted cash from the back street oral and subsequent sex was folded into a wallet, owner fully believing that it had been provided by his lover and he whistled joyfully, cleaning dishes and tidying the place up, oblivious to the uneaten meals.

_Well I've called Mike, pissed him off. Got dressed. Sorted the apartment. Now what? Next next next. Next generation. I haven't seen that in years. We can watch it tonight, always some reruns on. I'll get some champagne, too. Spend some quality time. Right, let's go._

"Go." Walking out with an ignored limp, Levi made the slow, agonising journey to the deli to fetch a feast for his partner.

~~~~~~

Bypassing reception this time, he maintained an air of belonging as the elevator descended to his position on the ground floor, glances towards him not in friendly greeting today. Most of the office workers wondered what this guy was doing here, clearly in need of some kind of medical attention if the sallow and withdrawn face was anything to go by. Also, a pinkish circle sat around his neck like a collar, testament to some sort of throttling or attempted suicide, neither of which the sort of thing to parade in public. But they just kept going, staying quiet and minding their own business as the hunched figure stepped into his steel vehicle, no one else joining him on this occasion.

Making an entrance like before, Levi strode in confidently and placed his bag down, grin wide and unhinged.

"Hi sexy. Got us some lunch." The short male jumped into his larger companion's lap, arms round huge shoulders as he gazed upon handsome features. "Last night was amazing." Soft yet damaged lips pressed into shocked ones, the blonde pushing back to break the kiss.

"What…what are you doing?"

"Thanking you, Erwin. For coming home. For the fantastic apology. I'll be honest, it hurts like hell to sit down but well worth it."

"I…I…" Thinking swiftly, the confused one of the pair joined the dots and decided on a course of action. Whilst he didn't want to rile the person attached to him, he also knew it had to end. Here and now.

"Levi?"

"Yes baby?"

"We can't see each other anymore."

"What? Stop playing. Come on, I brought your favourite olives."

"Levi I mean it. This has to stop."

"But…but…last night?"

"That wasn't me."

_Yes it was…you were inside of me and…and…_

Images flashed, truth splintering through with sharp knives of harsh reality and he frowned, hands twitching and psyche fading.

_No it was that guy...he…he fucking beat me…smacked me to the ground…put his hands round my neck and squeezed so hard that…oh fuck me, fuck me, fuck me…what else did he do?_

"Do?" He'd spoken out loud and a serious face loomed close.

"Levi you need help. Not from me. From someone else. You're destroying yourself, allowing these men do this to you. Let me see." Lifting a creased shirt, Erwin gasped at the messy abdomen beneath, the punches and kicks that must've been inflicted most likely causing internal damage and he'd already noticed the throat wound.

"Fuck off." Swatting the touch away, Levi grimaced as he realised what this all meant.

_He fucking left me alone again. Slept god knows where with god knows who and just allowed me to go get fucked over AGAIN. And now he says we're finished? Batteries. I'll fucking show him. I'll fucking show this piece of shit he can't get away with it. Can't dump me. Bastard fucking prick._

Standing back, the wounded man bared his teeth and growled.

"You little shit." Erwin saw the fist but could do nothing, position on his chair not allowing a swift getaway and the last thing he knew was pain.

The next thing he knew was pain too, head pounding as his eyes fluttered open. Where am I, he thought. Not at the office, that's for sure. It was dark out, hours having passed by and he lifted an arm to rub the drowsiness away but found he couldn't, upper limbs tied tightly to a seat, ankles too. Wishing he hadn't looked at all, a cold fear ran through his core as a leering captor came into focus, heaps of hot food on the table they sat at. He didn't even want to know how he'd gotten here, but the car keys to one side suggested his ride had been stolen too.

"Le…Levi…what did you do?"

"I cooked, dumbass. Silly sod. Now, what do you want first? Starters. Of course." Lifting a fork, Levi opened his mouth in anticipation as he brought the item towards his lover, sure that he'd enjoy it.

_This is some good shit, Erwin. You'll love it all. You'll love me. Love me…love me do. Damn. Got to stop listening to the radio._

The blonde once more weighed up his options, none of which were greatly desirable however he chose to play along in the name of damage control. If he could convince this deranged human that they were a happy couple, perhaps he'd get out of this alive. Taking the offered morsel, he blinked slowly as if in enjoyment and made all the right noises. Or so he thought.

_Oh fuck…oh god that moan…shit, I can't stop myself…no, I have to. Let him savour our first meal in ages. Don't get carried away…christ…_

Another forkful and Erwin winked, gobbling it up like a greedy toddler. Levi beamed, proud and happy as his heart nearly burst, soul lifted. Finally here he was in paradise, all his dreams come true and hand delivered in a gorgeous package of muscular delight.

_You've made me whole…you complete my life…I'm never letting you go…never ever ever my sweet…never ever ever…_

Dinner progressed in the same fashion, small talk held along with flirtatious chats. The taller male kept his anxiety hidden, doing everything to survive and chanced another subject.

"Levi, do you think we can untie these now? I was kind of hoping for a cuddle on the sofa?"

_Oh no, I forgot about those! But I don't think so. Batteries will break and explode. No no no. Not yet. You're smart and calculating, always one step ahead, I remember that. I want to trust you but…sorry I can't. It's perfect just the way it is._

Not answering vocally, the feeder continued without seeming to pick up on the query, spoonfuls of dessert piled in as Erwin sighed internally. It was worth a shot.

After everything had been devoured, Levi hummed softly and cleared some pans and utensils up, doing what his love would want, keeping the place spick and span, inline and ordered.

_Well, maybe that's for both of us._

Chuckling, he washed his hands and returned to the table, protesting body silenced as he climbed onto meaty thighs, straddling the larger body and stroking down a hard chest. The prisoner shuffled uncomfortably and as lips peppered kisses on his neck, blue eyes closed as he attempted to ride this out.

"Mmm Erwin. You taste so delicious as always. I've missed this. Here, let me make you feel good."

"You…you don't have to…"

"On the contrary. I'm going to show you how much I love you."

 


	5. Vengeance

On his knees like he was used to, Levi paid extra special attention to this cock though, giving it all of his best moves. Hungrily lapping away, his hollowed cheeks denoted just how much suction was being applied and he broke off, tongue swirling the engorged head that twitched in his face before swallowing it whole once more, flinch and groan from the bound man causing such pride to swell in his heart.

_Yea baby, that's it. Let me eat you up. I've missed this so much. You smell divine. So hard. Now, here's the question - top or bottom? Probably best off me being top today, still a bit sore. Yes, I'll do that. Then when I'm better, Erwin can have his turn. Ahhh we're made for each other, happy to share and swap, explore positions…that one on my birthday last year was good. Hmm, I wonder if he'll do that again?_

Erwin watched the raven crown moving up and down, felt warm moisture on his shaft and pulled at the ropes, hands flexing and useless. He couldn't stop this happening, even if he should do; there was something about Levi that turned him on despite all of the craziness and obsessive behaviour. This was so wrong though, a veritable death sentence but he shook his head, mouth open in a small smile as the guy went to town on his erection. Two things made the blonde more accepting of this - one, if he didn't take it he'd no doubt end up with his balls bitten off and two, selfishly he was enjoying himself.

Azure splashes gazed down softly as the larger male pondered his situation through pleasured thoughts; this wasn't that bad, right? One night? Just one night of abandonment and then he would do what he needed to, take action and sever all ties for good. After all, this was what Levi wanted and in the interests of keeping his reproductive organs intact, he'd be going along with everything.

He did feel slight remorse still, the voice in his head reprimanding for not even answering any texts. Sure, that'd be stringing him along but maybe would've made the ultimate truth more palatable in the end. Oh well. What's done is done and…

The wetness disappeared and Erwin moaned with disappointment, blue eyes staring up as the pale man stood, licking his lips with a dangerous flash in his silver hues. God, he was gorgeous. Shaking off any kind of route down that particular path, the unexpected house guest waited to find out what was next on the menu.

_Bed or couch? Back or knees? Or side? Or against the wall? So many choices, too little time. I want to smash him round the apartment but fuck I'm getting tired. Must be yesterday catching up on me. Catch me if you can, fuckers._

Tapping a finger on his pout, Levi considered his options and came to a decision.

"If I untie your legs, don't be a beast and kick, you hear me?"

"Yes Sir."

_Oh fuck. There it is. I love him so much when he's submissive._

As the ropes were released, Erwin didn't even consider trying to lash out, just watched excitedly as his lower clothing was removed slowly and seductively from where it pooled around his ankles. Next came the wrists, freed swiftly to allow access to his shirt and soon that was gone too, leaving him naked and exposed as the smaller man folded the garments carefully, placing them on another chair in a neat little pile and giving an instruction.

"Bedroom." He got up as ordered, following the other person into the relevant area, mind spinning as he pushed away any reservations. God knew he needed some R&R. Quickly bare too, Levi sent the blonde to the mattress in sitting position, standing between meaty thighs and stroking through golden hair with reverence. Palms began to slide up his sides, light touch ghosting over his broken, purple skin gently. Erwin bent, laying tiny pecks on each bruise, every mark, licked across the red lines on a solid chest in hopes of healing the wounds and elicited a sigh of contentment from above.

_I knew it. I fucking knew it. He's making me better. All that time ignoring me was just a momentary lapse, he's come to his senses now. Look at him, caring for me and concerned about my well-being. How can that be anything but love?_

The damaged man didn't need to stoop too far to place his lips on his lover's own, height difference made up for by the largest being seated and a passionate kiss ensued, tongues reconnected as if it had been years spent apart. Erwin wrapped his arms gently around the smaller body, careful not to hold too tight and inflict pain as a hard yet soft grip in his locks caused him to moan into the other male's mouth. Being together like this was ultimately the worst idea on the planet, but he couldn't stop, didn't want to, needed this to continue and he moved his touch down, ass squeezed lightly. Levi twitched forwards into his partner, the feel of hands there not foreign recently however this was real, pure, true.

_I can't hold back much longer. Shit. I'm going to fuck him so hard he'll know how badly behaved he's been. Oh hell yes. He'll fucking know._

Losing all patience, he sent the bigger form flying back onto the bed, embrace broken as he flipped the blonde over with surprising strength. Erwin let out a squeak of shock, expecting it to some extent due to his inattentiveness but it still threw him slightly. A dark, purring voice came from behind, seductive and dangerous, such a wonderful mix.

"Up on your knees. Hands against the wall." Complying instantly, the one being controlled leapt to fulfil his orders, leaning his backside out to provide what he hoped was an acceptable angle - if not, he'd surely be adjusted roughly, a prospect which made him shudder with anticipation. Just as imagined, harsh tugs were applied, form arranged correctly whilst narrated by grumbles. "Back further down. Legs apart. Fuck sakes, anyone would think you didn't know what you were doing." A fist in his hair yanked his head back without thought, lips at his ear tickling deliciously. "I'm not going to go easy, Erwin. You deserve as much, am I right?"

"Y-yes Levi..."

"Yes what?"

"Yes you're right. I deserve it. Please."

_Been a while since I unleashed on him. Last time was when we had an argument and he refused to admit it was his fault. This time's going to make that feel like a fucking tickle._

"Stay." Erwin was aware of something going on in the background, drawers opened and closed and he gupled, wondering what was about to befall him; it was going to be good, he knew that much and bit his bottom lip as something heavy was slapped against his exposed buttocks. It felt rubbery but solid and he let out a whimper as gel was haphazardly applied, single finger inserted inside, probing and curling beautifully.

"Fuck…Levi…"

"Not yet." Totally in control for once, Levi growled with glee as he removed his digit, pressing the massive black dildo at the waiting entrance instead. "You remember this? Hmm?" All he got in response was a groan and took that as a green light to go. With no care whatsoever he plunged the thick shaft in, violent thrust punctuated by both a snarl and a cry. Erwin's eyes watered, filled instantly and he shouted out before he could stop himself. It felt good somewhere in amongst the pain, his thread of sanity remaining intact with that one thought.

_That's right. Scream. You have no idea how pissed I am at you right now and I'm damn well gonna make sure you understand what you've done to me for nearly a fortnight, bitch._

Channelling all of his rage, the wronged man pulled his prop out, only to bury it deeply back in again, monstrous toy stretching the wrong-doer's ass to it's fullest. He knew the guy could take it, had before however perhaps not this hard.

_Fuck it. I don't give a shit right now. I'm not like one of those cunt clients of mine, not going to beat the poor bastard. But this…yea, this he'll like and hate at the same time. Always so upstanding and correct yet now he's mine. My pet._

Another yell followed another impact, nails dug into the wall and a sobbed plea whispered into the otherwise silent room.

"Stop…Levi stop…"

"Oh, too much? Is it all a bit overwhelming for poor little Erwin? Tough shit." Smash. "It'll take more than that for us to be even." Pound. "So if you want it to stop, make me believe you. Make me hear how sorry you are."

"I'm s-sorry….ahhhh! I'm so sorry…fuck!" Faster now, Levi didn't relent, didn't give in, simply upped the pace as droplets of saliva fell from Erwin's mouth, dripping down onto the pillow in strings of desperate fluid. He could fight, could put an end to this right now if he wanted but he didn't, instead remained on the receiving end of an irate man with a tenuous grip on reality. Because it felt good and for that, he hated himself just that little bit more. "Please…I'll never leave you again…I'll come home every night…I swear…"

"And why will you do that?" Arm a blur, the now grinning dominant used all of his strength to apply brutal shoves, any weakness or injury merely a distant memory. "Huh? Why are you going to come back to me?"

"Because…oh shit…because…"

"BECAUSE WHAT?!"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!"

Everything stopped, the dildo was withdrawn and Levi hummed gladly.

_There. That wasn't so difficult, was it? Three little words that mean the world to me. I knew he loved me. I knew it._

"Good boy. Ah? Who said you could move?" Blinking back tears and wiping spit from his chin, the breathless male turned away once more to face the headboard, chest heaving as he tried to regain something of himself. Pride and shame were long gone, swept out the door when he decided to accept all of this and he let out a low sob, hole stinging but begging to be used again. "What's wrong? Don't like it when someone fucks with you? Hmm?"

"No…I…I need you…"

_Oh how the tables have turned. Well, you're not getting away with it that easily._

"Don't even think about changing position, Erwin. I'll be back soon."

'Soon' apparently meant half an hour, thirty minutes of clunks and noises from the kitchen that suggested dishes were being tidied away. Erwin did as instructed though, remained in the prescribed stance to await the next round, whatever that may be. Cock still painfully hard, he couldn't stop the images running through his mind on how divine it would be to have Levi take him now, send him crazy with lust and leave his body shattered in a cloud of ecstasy. Why am I doing this, he mused. Why am I letting a lunatic have power over me when I should be running for the hills? The answer was simple, one he'd told himself already - selfishness. Where else would he find someone who'd make him feel this way?

Whistling a jovial tune, the currently placated man paced the living room sipping wine and thoroughly pleased with his efforts. He could tell by the lack of sound that his lover hadn't moved, was wholly under his spell and he gave a small laugh.

_He's just as infatuated as I am. Can't live without me. Like peas in a pod, the two of us. Just the two of us. Damn. I hate that song. Right. I think it's time to forgive him. We love each other, after all._

Slipping into the bedroom, Levi smiled at the scene, his partner still where he should be and wriggling slightly in frustration.

"Ok Erwin. My turn." Tossing the large toy to the floor, he was sure any preparations had been made and rubbed some lube on his member, giving languid strokes to reach maximum hardness. Grey eyes stared kindly upon the bronzed beauty laid out before him, most thoughts on punishment gone for the time being, but a slight amount of ire still lingered, just enough to give him the force needed.

_Forgive eventually. Soon._

Climbing up onto the mattress, he continued his own pumps and reached round to take Erwin's erection, gasp of relief loud and like music to his ears.

"You like that? Yea?"

"Yes…just…"

"What?"

"Please Levi…fuck me…"

"I'm going to, don't you worry about that." Silver orbs shone in the dimly lit room, demonic in their glow as a new lease of life washed over the usually broken male, scars and wounds a testament to that and he laughed, a frightening sound which caused the figure in front of him to tremble. With no warning, Levi penetrated the man of his dreams, the one he pined for so often, the one delivered back to him and as he bottomed out, his world was set right. Fingers digging into a stocky hip for leverage, he placed his other hand in golden locks and fisted them hard, messing up what was normally such a sensible style as he tugged back. "This is what you've missed, isn't it? Me inside of you?"

"Y-yes…"

"Mmm I know pet, I know. Now I've got you, I'm never letting go again." Savage, swift thrusts began, the one on top gritting his teeth and pulling harshly on yellow strands and the most delectable moan came from his receiver, one born of unadulterated desire. Watching the larger form shift forwards with each push added to the sense of ownership, gorgeous body at his mercy sending the shorter of the pair mad with control and he realised this would be over soon, the image too fucking hot to handle for any length of time.

_You're mine…all mine…I'm going to make you come…and all you'll be able to think about from now on is me…just me, baby…_

Erwin called out in pleasure, the member within him not painful but strong and precise, incredible and empowered, such a far cry from the fractured human he'd seen previously - this personality, he liked.

"God Levi...yes…harder…"

"Fuck…come on…yea…that's right…beg me…"

"Harder please…oh yes…ahhhshitshitshit…"

"More."

"…shit…"

"MORE Erwin."

"Oh fuck…please, please, please…"

"Please what?"

"Please let me…I need to…"

"More…fucking...specific…bitch." Speaking between each pounding motion, Levi knew what it would take to send this guy into oblivion but he needed to hear the straight-laced office worker say it, fed off the debauched manner in which those words would make him feel dirty. And he didn't disappoint.

"Take my cock…fucking jerk me off, Levi!"

"That's better." Doing as so impolitely requested, he grabbed a hold of the throbbing, flailing shaft having relinquished his grip on Erwin's hair, pants and groans of effort joining the unravelling mumbles and shouts of pleasure beneath.

"My god…holy fuck…I'm coming…" And then the most exquisite thing Levi had ever experienced happened, meek words which sent him into euphoric spirals. "Am I allowed?"

_Oh fuck me, fucking hell Erwin you son of a bitch, such a good good boy…my good boy…_

"Yes." The blonde had no idea why he'd asked, it just seemed right and as he was granted release, his orgasm hit like a truck, veins filled with icy cold prickles of enjoyment as he shot cum all over the bed, sticky strings covering sheets, the head board, a porcelain hand…

Shouting Levi's name over and over, he was finally silenced by the inability to draw breath anymore, pure delight seemingly ceasing any functions other than those of his genitalia and he let out a few last strained drops onto the pillow. Next thing he knew, his body was flung round to land in a slight sitting position, head propped upright and elbows in his own mess. A glistening erection was wiped down in front of hazy blue discs of vision as the other man swiftly knelt either side of his chest, hands in light locks again and his surprised mouth was stuffed full.

After a second of initial shock, Erwin sucked hard, palms on a soft yet muscular ass and pulling Levi inwards with each fast motion.

"Fuck…I love it when you do that…ahh yea…yea Erwin…god yes, yes…shit!" No sounds of protest accompanied his climax, just hungry swallows and groans from them both as his hot seed was gulped down instantly. "Shit…ah shit…" Calming, the battered male sat back on a larger lap, lungs gasping for oxygen whilst a completely fucked up grin was offered from the mattress, parted lips and teeth allowing a slice of a white pool to shine through on a pink tongue.

_Jesus…you're amazing…_

"Amazing."

"Yea…it was…" Both were worn out, wholly exhausted and Levi collapsed to one side, ribs expanding rapidly as he dragged in air; neither cared about the state of the sheets, they could be sorted in the morning. Smiling lightly, the security-guard-by-day switched off the lamp, turning to place small, appreciative kisses on his lover's lips, hearing the faint change in breathing which suggested imminent sleep.

_You're back. You're mine. You're never leaving._

"Love you Erwin."

"Lu yu Le…" And with that murmured response, the tallest of the pair was away in dreamland, serene face illuminated by moon rays through the open curtains, noble features lit perfectly and grey eyes tinted with almost unnoticeable blue flecks watched for a while longer, fingers stroking over the chiselled facade.

"I've got you now."

 

 


	6. Lost Souls

Shit. What have I done? Why am I still here? I need to leave. Now.

Cobalt eyes looked fearfully at the back of an onyx covered head, small and battered frame breathing deeply in slumber as Erwin crashed, guilt kicking in along with trepidation. This had been a huge, huge mistake. He'd faked sleep earlier, laid still and regulated his air intake to appear soundly at rest, only stirring when he was sure the other man had fallen into a dream. 'God I'm in so much trouble,' he thought. 'Truly and utterly fucked. All I can hope is he won't remember enough. Who am I kidding, of course he will. This is Levi.'

Making as little movement as possible, the large male shuffled his body from the mattress, pausing when tiny noises were given but all the while beating as hasty a retreat as he could. Glancing back, he took one last gaze and closed the door softly, not quite on the latch to avoid the annoying click and swiftly dressed himself, clothing still sitting neatly on the seat where it had been left last night. 2 am. A cab would be needed, no way he was walking the streets round here at this hour and then he remembered his car keys. Gathering them up gently he slipped away, apartment entrance closed with a grimace as he prayed no loud sound came. Jaw clenched, he waited for the inevitable clunk, an albeit quiet ping but in the dead of night, everything was magnified.

Breaking into a full on run, Erwin fled the scene, ass throbbing as a reminder of their liaison and he tried to stash the memories away, drown the unbelievably arousing encounter so it could never surface again - that was going to be difficult.

Back in the comfortable bed, a far from oblivious male lay on his side and stared at the wall, silver slits drilling a hole into the plaster as he seethed with rage.

_You thought I was asleep you cunt. You thought I didn't know, but I do. Oh fuck yes, I do. You ran away from me. Again. Left me alone. Again. Batteries. Fucking spineless BASTARD!_

On the final soundless word he shot up, on his feet and pounding through to the kitchen, anything within sight snatched up and thrown to the floor in anger, splinters and shards creating a carpet of virtual knives which he walked over without even flinching. So far into his fury, the pale man felt nothing other than the despairing pull at his soul as tears fell unannounced, no cries or sobs, just righteous drops of water.

_ I'll make you pay. I'll make you fucking pay. You'll see what you've done to me and I'll do it to you, too. _

An hour later and Levi was dressed, drunk and currently swallowing tablets directly from an open bottle; two, three, four.

_Five might be a bit of a stretch. Don't want to fall flat on my fucking face. Face time. Face palm. Palm Sunday. Might get pancakes for breakfast. No, that's Shrove Tuesday you dick. Never mind. Pancakes sound good. Erwin likes them. Those expensive ones down town. Shit, how much money have I got left? Spent it all on fucking food for him. He enjoyed it though. Last supper._

Without realising why his brain had conjured up that ending, he stood and strode out, intending on sourcing funds then a sweet meal.

The roads near his block had been deserted but life soon picked up as the main metropolis was reached, all sorts of people still up and about, looking for a good time. A quick and easy hand job later, Levi sat in a diner with a pile of hot pancakes before him, the tasty treats surrounded by a delicious cloud of pink.

_Cotton candy, sugary and sweet._

"Sweet." Digging in, he demolished the food as yesterday's dinner was cooked purely for one person alone, one person who hadn't fully appreciated just how special the occasion was, it seemed. Grumbling lowly to himself about the cleanliness of the table, he nonetheless ate energetically, filled his empty stomach and provided much needed sustenance to a slowly degenerating body. Looking up, he watched the colours floating by, all different tones of both vibrant and pastel sliding past the window - reds, blues and yellows, aquamarine and beige. Passing humans twinkled and shimmered, reflecting light beautifully and Levi smiled, a true expression of nothing but joy. The unhinged voice inside had been silenced, chased away by his cocktail of drink and drugs, peace finally attained after all this time.

Accepting coffee in place of a tea which had been far below his standards, the pale man ordered another from a waitress shrouded in grey, her face matching the sombre aura.

"What's up with you?"

"Sorry?"

"I said what's up with you? You look like you're about to jump off a fucking building." The older woman scoffed in disgust, huff slightly too over exaggerated to be believed. "Oh I see. You are, aren't you?"

"What? N-no! Why would you say that?" A delicate finger pointed to the seat opposite and the female sat in defeat, figure slumped and deflated as she began to mumble into the coffee pot. "No one's gonna care if I do. Nothing left for me in this world, honey." Levi saw some of himself in this new arrival, an empty shell which housed little but despair and hatred, no hope remaining and ready to give up. He, however, did have a goal, one which drove him onwards every day and kept him afloat. Sighing, he pulled the glass receptacle away so she had no choice but to raise her eyes, dark rings lining them behind spectacles in a mirror of his own fatigued facade.

"There's always something left."

"How? You don't know my life, sugar. You have no idea what waits for me every morning when I get out of this shit hole."

"Let me guess. Abusive husband. Shitty apartment. Not enough money to do anything about it?" She gaped, unsure what to say in response to that and the man speaking more to her than anyone had in a long time started up again. "Wedding band mark but no ring. Fading bruises. God awful job and your nail polish is chipped so far down it looks like your cuticles turned fucking red and just grew a bit."

"You think you're Sherlock fucking Holmes, sweetie? Jesus wept...why do the freaks always find me?" She took her glasses off and rubbed tired eyes, thoroughly amused and giggling at the ridiculous situation.

"Listen." Something in the steel orbs made her cease any laughter, the way she was pinned down causing her silence. "We always find each other, us down and outs. I think we must emit some sort of damn scent." The woman's chuckles were more genuine this time and Levi smirked, pouring his own drink as the waitress evidently wasn't going to, steam rising from his mug in electric blue puffs.

"So what's your story, handsome?"

"My story? Well. Let me see." Swirling the dark liquid, he enjoyed the quiet in his mind and gave a true answer, though not fully sure why. "My lover is ignoring me, came home last night for a quick fuck then he pissed off again." He left out the part about practically kidnapping Erwin, safer that way. "My low paid profession is pretty much with the only people who would employ me and to make ends meet, I whore myself out on the street or go running to rich clients who fill my wallet nicely but make a fucking mess in the process."

"Ohhh….oh god, sorry." He shrugged in reply. "Want me to take a look?"

"Huh?"

"Your v-neck tee doesn't exactly hide those marks, deary. And I used to be a nurse?"

"Why aren't you any more?" Levi was relishing his break from slight mania; it was like being back to normal, back how he used to be before this all started.

"Husband didn't like the hours I kept."

"Fuck him. You've got a talent, use it."

"Can I practise on you then?" Studious silver eyes weighed up this woman. She seemed harmless enough, a little too over excited at the prospect of medical work but that was to be expected, given how she'd been forced out of what appeared to be a dream job.

"Alright. Nothing below the fucking waist band, though."

"Oh come on?"

"No."

"Ohhhkayyyy." The ex-nurse griped but couldn't help the grin that spread. "I'm Hange, by the way. I like to know my patient's names before I manhandle them?"

"Levi."

"Well, Levi. Gimmie half an hour and we can get started!"

By half three in the morning he'd been poked, prodded, stitched and soothed, all the while serenaded by a cheery sing-song voice which was as aggravating as it was enjoyable. Apart from Mike, he never let anyone get this close, not even Erwin - his partner usually turned a blind eye anyway, but if he ever showed an interest, Levi was sure to hide it away. Hange was like him and his security guard friend, marred by the past and working to survive, not to live a fulfilling existence. And for that, he trusted this woman.

"All done! Good as new."

"Don't lie."

"Ok, not like new but better at least!" She helped her impromptu convalescent up to sitting position on the old moth eaten couch in the staff break out area, one which had been locked and secured before she pulled her ever-ready kit from a locker. Wide brown eyes scoured his body for any missed spots, back inspected closely with a grim hum of satisfaction. "That'll do. As long as you keep yourself out of harm's way you should be fine in no time, honey."

"Thank you."

"No, thank YOU!" Hange shrieked and cupped his cheeks, face jubilant and close. "I haven't had anyone to work on for so long, you've made me really really happy!" Squeezing at his face, the female grinned like an idiot, almost salivating and Levi swatted her hands away with a half-hearted grumble.

"Fuck off."

"Aw, no fun. And I meant it." She fixed him with a serious stare now. "Don't let anyone hurt you. Not even yourself." Sighing, the short male pulled his top back on, shrugging his jacket over the expertly tended-to scar which had been the result of his own wrath.

"I'll try."

"Good. Now I gotta go sleep, man I'm tired."

"Oh is that what's wrong with your face? I thought you just needed to shit." Hange laughed uproariously at her new friend's deadpan delivery, slapping his shoulder and creasing up with hilarity.

"You're something else, sweetie. Love it. Oh!" She looked thoughtful and manic, an idea hitting instantly and spilling out before thinking it through. "Can I be your fag hag?"

"Oh my fucking...are you serious?"

"Deadly." Hands gripped tightly up at her chin, the brunette tried to look cute and undeniable, rendering the stoic man incapable of anything but trying to hide a smile.

"Sure. Why the fuck not." Hange squealed and clapped, now bathed in a vibrant lilac tone which pleased Levi for some reason. He'd been under water for days, weeks even, unable to breathe and then the combination of substance abuse mixed with a crazy woman had pulled him out. She'd been on the verge of suicide and now seemed ready to take on the world, not the asphalt; mutual saviours. "Off you go, get some rest. And divorce that piece of shit."

"Same applies to you, shorty. You don't need that prick in your life."

"Mmm. Whatever."

"Levi?"

"Yea?"

"Thanks." The wetness in her eyes told him exactly why she'd said that, a nod given to explain it was no trouble.

Outside seemed different, fresher, more lifted as he strolled through questionable roads, ignoring degradation and walking with a spring in his step. Who would have thought his early morning could turn out like this? The internal demon remained gagged still, not bothering him with rambles and arguments and he breathed in deeply, unaware of the figure behind him.

"Hey." Levi turned, fists clenched and on his guard until he saw who it was, relaxing ever so slightly as he brought his pill bottle out, two more thrown back and chewed up. The guy who'd last been seen wearing a hotel robe stood casually on one hip, fistful of cash on display at the mouth of a secluded alley, sunrise still at least two hours away and the previous client raised his brows. "Got a minute?"

"A minute? Of course." That amount of money would get him out of shit street, pay some debts and allow him to survive on his guard job alone, rent a smaller place just for one person. Never again would he have to sell his body to whoever requested it just to fill the fridge or keep up with bills. A hand gestured to the middle of the passageway and they took the walk together, not speaking, simply reaching their destination. A large stack of crates against the wall was decided upon as a good place to hide and they faced one another, desires and rules discussed. "What do you want?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary. Haven't come equipped, shall we say."

"No problem. You been looking for me?"

"Yea but your damn pimp couldn't get hold of you." Levi realised he'd left his phone at home and stashed away any thought process around why him specifically. Maybe he'd just been this customer's type?

"Ok. You found me now. Any requests?"

"Only two. One, no talking. And two? Cry."

"I can't just make it fucking happen. I'm not an actor."

"Oh well. I'll make it happen then." Harsh tugs and throws ensued as the soon to be receiver was thrown face first into the bricks - he could've stopped it occurring but that promised pay day allowed anything this sadist wanted and jeans were dropped, head pushed down as his cheek scraped against the rough surface.

_I'll be seeing Hange sooner than expected at this rate. Damn._

Palms on the wall, Levi pushed to avoid another scratch, only to have his wrists pulled back and bound with what felt like a neck tie, no option but to have his face in the hard surface, body bent forcibly and feet kicked apart. Gritting his teeth for what he knew was a painfully large cock, he heard the sound of a condom packet being torn and tried to ease his tight muscles, sudden grip on the make-shift restraints promising imminent agony. And then it came, excruciating and blinding torture as a shaft was forced in with ruthless power, much like he'd done to Erwin earlier.

_And then he fucking left me. Ouch. Just walked out. Fuck. But he liked it, begged for more. It wasn't the dildo that made him run. Shit!_

"SHIT!"

"I said no talking." A punch to the back of the head arrived in warning and without breaking pace, the client stuffed a handkerchief in Levi's open mouth, muffling any further screams. Skin was broken with each thrust into the wall, muted cries futile as yet again he was split in two, fierce hold on one hip joining the callous grasp on his bindings. Fucked into the red blocks without mercy, the dark haired man closed his now sorrowful eyes, cursing himself for being greedy and wanting to start afresh.

_Of course I couldn't do that. Someone like me doesn't get good fortune without paying for it first. And shit am I paying for it, holy fuck. If Erwin had stayed, he'd be footing half the shitty bills, half the grocery tab, half and half. Share and share alike. Like twins, bosom buddies, pals. Paypals. I'll hunt him down after this and fuck him over, wave my new found cash in his shitty face and then destroy him piece by piece, bone by fucking bone, battery by fucking battery. I'm battered. Abused. Again. And again. And again._

As asked for, bitter tears fell against Levi's will, more so at himself and his estranged lover than the man up his ass and the cloth between his lips became wet with spit. Unfortunately, he knew this particular guy could go for quite some time and he blinked rapidly to clear his vision, dull grey eyes fixed on one small stamp on the crate to his side, random piece of a word from a shipping manifest or description a beacon to focus on and disappear into - free.

After what seemed like around four days, the inevitably heartless climax arrived from behind, used male's limp member unaroused by the entire show and he was finally released, falling to the ground with pants and gurgles as his gag was removed, tie taken away. Still trying to catch some sweet air, Levi was aware of movement as a shoe connected with his ribs, no doubt undoing some of his recently discovered associate's handiwork and wide eyes watched in horror as the man walked away, no money left behind. Through coughs and splutters, the fallen man managed to yell in fury.

"Oi! You're supposed to fucking pay me!" His latest fuck turned, smarmy smile on disgusting lips as he zipped his denims up.

"You play off the books, I play off the books. Shit happens, darling." He winked and in a flash, Levi became enraged, jumping up and sorting his own trousers, racing through the alley in pursuit. As they reached the mouth of the passage and the still relatively busy main road of the red light district, the smaller of the two pounced, bringing his false customer down and sitting on his chest. Punch after punch landed on the prick's face, small crowd gathering.

_You fucking cunt! You shitty excuse for a human being!_

"I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you!" Unchecked resentment and pure outrage fuelled him, pulls of his injuries faded into nothing as a few women started to applaud and cheer, all dressed provocatively and blatant sex workers themselves, ones who'd perhaps been at the receiving end of a non-paying John in the past, maybe even this particular specimen. All of the ruckus had alerted local law enforcement, group of illegally employed females scattering in a cacophony of high heels and jewellery but Levi didn't notice, all of his recent pain and suffering projected onto the bloodied person below.

Even when the police grabbed him away, he kept swinging and snarling, eventually halted as his arms were held behind by two cops who struggled to keep the small offender at bay. Shouts and threats were given by the officers but went unheeded and as cuffs were slapped on, all Levi could do was scream one word in repetition, one name bouncing off the city's walls.

"ERWIN!"


	7. Crime And Punishment

_Orange. I wasn't wearing orange when I left the house? What the fuck? Why do my cheeks hurt? Why can't I touch them? Where am I? Where's Erwin? Oh, there he is._

Blue and confident eyes stared over the metal table, dark room containing just two people, one of whom was chained to the hoop in the middle of the surface. Levi flexed his fingers, getting some feeling back into them as the sombre figure in front looked across with pity.

_Pity?! Is that it?! Not 'oh no, you poor thing, look at how hurt you are, let me help.' No. Just empty pity. Well, fuck your sympathy, Erwin. Fuck you._

"Levi? Do you know why you're here?"

"Yea. I stole a piece of candy."

"Don't make light of this. You nearly killed a man."

"Because he didn't fucking pay me, Erwin."

"Didn't pay you for an illegal transaction, you mean. So, not exactly a leg to stand on, is it?"

Grey orbs pierced the cool exterior opposite, sized him up and wondered what he was playing at.

_Is he pretending to be my lawyer or something? Get some time alone away from cameras and voice recordings? Clever fucker._

"Are we being listened to?"

"No."

"Good. I'll tell you what happened. You pissed off again. You left me alone in the middle of the night, so what the fuck was I going to do, hmm? Sit back and play solitaire? You know what I get up to, so don't act all innocent. You're just as implicit in this relationship, so…"

"Levi, there is no relationship."

"Yea you said. But here you are again, so I beg to differ."

"You misunderstand me. There never has been a relationship."

"What, I was just a simple fuck like all the rest?" Levi leant forwards, hunched over linked hands, chin resting on his knuckles. "You can't honestly believe that? All those times together, our picnic, that trip to Vegas…"

"No." Erwin sighed, stomach knotting as he was about to deliver the final blow, one which might well send the man into total breakdown. "Levi, listen to me. I was your psychiatrist."

"Fuck right off. You're not getting out of dumping me in prison by pretending shit like that. Man up."

"It's true. I had to cut ties and refer you to someone else when you became obsessed. I couldn't change my number without severing links with so many other patients or colleagues so I tried to ignore it. But I couldn't block you, just in case. In case you needed me."

"Oh that is priceless. Absolute gold. Alright Dr Smith, explain some things to me. When I did call, you said we'd had dinner the Friday before and spoken then. And you said you'd told me you were away until Wednesday. And you said you'd come home. Why bother? Why not just reveal your version of the truth then?"

_He can't answer that, surely. That's a lot of shit to just gloss over and I haven't even hit the jackpot yet._

"I'm not proud, but I honestly thought it might help. Allow you to believe it all then let you down easy and hope you'd move on."

"Very professional. Bravo." Demonic silver glared from under low brows, ready to let loose. "Even if I did believe you'd be so fucking stupid, why did you let me fuck you last night? I know that happened, you can't lie your way out of that one." The blonde blushed and looked down, shuffling uncomfortably.

"Yes. That happened. It shouldn't have, though. I just…I guess I…shit." Shaking his head, he finally met the steely gaze. "I suppose I was enjoying myself too much. I know it was wrong but I couldn't help it."

"Let me get this straight. We were never an item. You never loved me. We never shared meals together, anniversaries, laughter and fun but you did let me screw you because you got all bi-curious on my ass?" Erwin tried to speak but was cut off by a low growl. "And you think that by saying you let your apparent ex-patient give you the fuck of your life just for shits and giggles is gonna work out well for you? Fuck me." Levi sat up, laughing in disbelief as he looked at the ceiling. "You really are spineless, aren't you? Well you know what, I'm in here now. Probably will be for a long time unless I get a real lawyer so you don't have to worry about any backlash. And anyway, a couple of hours ago I actually got over you finally. So, just be a fucking man about this and do it properly. Be honest. Tell the truth."

Silence. Seconds ticked by as two men stared into one another's eyes until the free male reached down with a deep breath and brought out a folder, opening it up and spreading pictures and documents around like he was conducting an interrogation.

"This was our group's trip to the gardens last summer." Grey discs became wider as he saw a snapshot, one which contained a certain pair, familiar setting recognised as his phone's home screen, all the other people having been cut out and discarded. The staff wore t-shirts which bore the insignia of the psychiatric facility they worked for, all apart from Erwin who simply had a name badge hanging from his trousers. "You were a day patient. Came and went as you pleased due to such good progress. My star pupil."

"No…no that's…that's been photoshopped or something. That…it…it was just us?"

_It had to be. I remember it. Or do I? Fuck. I must be coming down with something again. He's trying to confuse me._

"This is the truth. As is this." A sheet was slid over, one with both of their writing, self assessment signed off by the doctor.

"I didn't write that…"

_Yes I did. It's all coming back. I did well. This says I have PTSD. Why? Fuck. But…_

In a bright flurry of the past, Levi had a kind of epiphany, a torch shone on the truth which presented it all in stark and raw reality. The rambling in his head became quiet as pictures and events broke through the barrier he'd been putting up for all this time, his safety net from actual events ripped apart, one which usually caught the larger nuggets of real life and only let the fantasy through. Before any intervention he'd been a mess, couldn't sleep, picked fights with anyone and everyone, nearly lost his job on many occasions and had frequent flashbacks. So his fraught mind had created a new version, one filled with love and care despite his methods of making extra money.

He'd never had 'love and care' that he could recall, probably another reason why meaningless sexual encounters were commonplace for him, but he realised that he must have clung to Erwin as a beacon even if the blonde was simply being paid to work. It all clicked in, drugs already leaving his system and an unusual sense of transparency and strength settled into his bones as his apparent doctor continued.

"I'm ashamed to say it, but I had a soft spot for you Levi. You were so attentive, so eager to please, so adorable at times. And I let it happen. Then you became too attached, all the messages and delusions…that's why I stepped back. Hoped your job would fill your life like it used to. But it didn't. And then you started to…you know…do other work. Work you told me all about and I just had to sit back and ignore you. It was so hard…"

"Hard?" Chains rattled as Levi stood, hands still bound. "Hard?! Do you know what you've done? You led me on, let a fucking mental patient think we were in a relationship just to stroke your ego and save you from any responsibility! And then, oh and here's the icing on the cake…then you knelt on my bed, let me do what I wanted to and told me you fucking loved me purely to get some sexual gratification? Well shit Erwin, isn't your life about to get fucked up?"

_If I'm in here, he deserves to be too. I'm taking him right down with me. Right fucking down. I remember it all now. He used to slip me fucking chocolates on days out, read books with me in the quiet room whilst stroking my leg, let me kiss him…fucking disgusting piece of shit. Only ever bothered if something was in it for him. When I was hurting he didn't care, just brushed it away. Not any more._

"Levi, sit down or they'll come and get me out of here."

"Good! Into a fucking cell where you belong!"

"No one will believe you."

"What?" The deep snarl was vicious and full of venom, polar opposite to the now calm Erwin.

"Look at you. And your history. I have camera footage showing you carrying me to my car knocked out. If you don't want that to surface, you'll stay quiet."

"You mother fucking cunt!" Fighting against the cuffs, Levi clenched his teeth, doing everything he could to get at the smug bastard just sitting there like nothing he'd done was wrong in the slightest, casually gathering his papers up and standing as a guard opened up.

"I won't be representing Mr Ackerman anymore. He'll need state assistance, pretty broke as I understand it. When's the transfer?"

_Transfer? What transfer?!_

"Tomorrow morning at nine, Sir."

"Oakfields?"

"Yes Sir."

"Thank you. I might come and visit him in a few months, see how he's doing for old time's sake. Bye Levi." With a sanctimonious wink, his non-existent lover was gone and sudden calm filled the angry male's being, sitting back down quietly as a small smirk crept over his lips.

"Oh, guard?"

"What is it, whore?"

"Come now, no need for names. I'd like my phone call, please."

Dialling a memorized number and ready to deliver a memorized message which had surfaced during his lucidity, Levi whistled as he waited for the reply, not too early for this person to be still asleep and it was picked up in three rings.

"Hello?"

"Mike? Levi. I need you to look after the kids until tomorrow at nine."

"Sure thing. What's the nanny's name again?"

"Olivia Farrington."

"That's it. No worries, consider it done."

"Thanks Mike."

"Don't mention it. Only fair."

Both hadn't just been colleagues for a while, they'd also served in the military together, similar fates cutting their time in combat short. Whilst mainly blamed on PTSD, they'd also technically been dishonorably discharged for violent conduct towards the enemy, a charge which they both found laughable - their foes showed just as little regard for them, so they struck first.

As seemed to happen quite often to their kind, they ended up in a security firm, physiques and battle training apparently put to good use by sitting on their asses all day drinking tea and moaning. But they did more than that. They planned. Given their short tempers and ability to fly off the handle due to their damaged psyches, arrests were always an option, occasional bar brawls or altercations requiring bailing out at times, however the two knew it might come to something more one day. So a crude code was created, one easily cracked if any of the dipshits in local law bothered listening properly but they rarely did and as Levi hung up the phone, he knew salvation was waiting round the corner in the form of Mike and a few old friends with guns and no sense of right or wrong.

~~~~~~

"Is that all of them?"

"Yea, only two. Apparently I'm not that much of a risk, it seems."

"Just as well Levi. I couldn't get everyone in quick enough."

"Stop complaining Mike. They'll wake up soon and then get kicked in the balls by their boss. I need to get out of this shit."

"Don't worry, I know orange isn't your colour. Makes you look even sicker than usual."

"Love you too, prick."

Hiding in the bushes of a deserted road, the hijacked van lying near by, Levi changed quickly and stuffed his chains and prison clothes into an offered bag, one which would be incinerated in a dumpster far away. The people who'd been available to help had been paid, hands shaken as they made their own retreats and a quiet voice stated the obvious.

"You have to move away Levi. Start again. New name, all of that."

"I know. I'll sort it. Got one last thing to do first."

"Not that guy?"

"Yes. That guy. Let's go. I'll tell you a story on the way home. Where did you get the money from?"

"Don't ask."

~~~~~~

Standing in front of an apartment block, all plans put into place for a swift retreat, Levi shouldered his bag and hummed, dark night providing cover. After the tale had been delivered, Mike had insisted on being involved, more than happy to relocate with his old friend despite arguments at first. The one with an insane sense of smell had won and was currently hunting possessions down, leaving the raven haired man to settle scores on his own.

Once inside, security systems were disabled with expert movements, hold on reality as strong as it had been in many many years - his purpose was focussed on the same person, just with a different angle. Smiling as he paced the dimly lit corridors, the self assured male reached the relevant door, address easily found online if you knew where to look. No peep hole either, excellent. Knocking lightly, Levi heard socked feet approaching and the chain released - marvellous news. What an idiot. As the entrance swung open, a warm and friendly smile met him, one which dropped instantly as a porcelain face grinned back.

"Hey Erwin. I brought lunch."

 

 

  
Two hours later and his ride arrived, van stuffed full of a pair of individual's worth of belongings, new identities lined up and ready to go and a set of narrow eyes stared out with both wonder and bizarre excitement.

"What did you do?"

"It doesn't matter. We need to shift it though."

"Levi? What did you do to him?"

"Nothing he didn't have coming. Trust me." Levi slammed the door shut and dropped his bag of red encrusted weapons to the floor, silicone gloves peeled off to join the macabre selection, much to Mike's approval. Spots of blood adorned already scratched and torn cheeks, someone else's life essence mixed in with the existing wounds. As the taller man revved the engine and hit the gas, he gave a smile and nodded his head.

"You good?"

"Never better, Mike."

~~~~~~

The next morning, miles from where it happened, Levi read his old neighbourhood's newspaper online, sipping tea in a motel and listening to his companion squabbling on the phone with an estate agent, griping about how much their fees were. Huffing a laugh, he scanned across the main story, silver eyes twinkling and mind clear of any ramblings or breaks in sanity.

**_"Dr Erwin Smith, a prominent psychologist and leader in his field, was found dead in his home during the early hours after residents reported hearing a commotion. Unfortunately, the calls came in too late to save the gifted man's life, his injuries so brutal that this publication will not be going into detail. No suspects have been identified as yet, however with such a long line of patients passing through his care, that list could take some time to narrow down."_ **

"If only he'd used his real name and profession at the prison, they'd have joined the dots already. Silly fucker." Also, as discovered last night during those one hundred and twenty minutes of bliss, all of his own records had been deleted, just in case anyone ever took the incarcerated and unstable male seriously enough to look into their relationship. "Beautiful. Couldn't have planned it better myself." Raising a chipped cup, Levi smiled and made a toast.

"To Erwin. May you rot in hell whilst I prove to you what I'm worth. You're nothing. I am everything. I am enough." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that dear reader is that. Not sure where this all came from but I had the strong need to get it out of my brain, hope you enjoyed my rather dark little fic :)


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